I Love You, George Santos

by Mark C. Wallfisch

You’re my hero, George Santos, or whatever your real name is.  You’ve accomplished so much, not as much as you’ve claimed, but still at the age of 34, you’re a Member of the House of Representatives, where the average age is 59.

You’ve got a good job, which hasn’t always been the case, even though you claimed otherwise.  You’re making decent money now, even though the source of your past money, if it actually existed, is still in question.    

You represent a portion of New York City and environs, which is inhabited by people known as pretty savvy, though the 2022 election has brought the reputation of your constituents into some justifiable question.  But still, they’re not hicks. 

And you’re famous.  You’re a celebrity.  Ask Americans to name three members of Congress, and you’d be on everyone’s list.

You’re in the news every day, literally every single day.  Of course, a while back, so was Ted Bundy, but you haven’t killed anybody, not yet, not that we know of, not yet anyway.  Intelligent journalists beg for your attention, which you share with them sparingly.  You’re at the top of your game.

Where your game goes from here is anyone’s guess.  We know that your past is a gold mine of revelations about you, politics, and money.  Or maybe your past is just a minefield. 

Your present is your opportunity to live up to the potential that you claimed but never realized.  As your grandparents must have thought as they escaped the Nazis, the future is fraught with excitement or maybe just more of the same.

But like I’m saying, the same’s not bad.  You’re a hit!  I love you, George Santos.  

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