Dixie Blues

by Mark C. Wallfisch

“Hey Earl, you wanna take a road trip?  Gonna see Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, ‘n’ Florida.”

“When ya goin’, Oliver?”

“The tank’s full; the trunk’s full.  We can go today.”

“What’s in the trunk, Oliver?”

“Oh, a special stash.  That’s why we’re goin’.”

“Whatcha got in there?”

“Earl, lemme tell you, I got the beginnin’s of a changed United States of America right there in the trunk of my car.”

“What is it?  Lemme see.”

Checking that there was no one around, Oliver revealed a trunk full of cardboard boxes – 100% full.

“What’s in them boxes?”

“The winds of change, Earl, the winds of change, direct from our capitalistic communist friends in the People’s Republic of China.”

“Show me.  Whatcha got?”

“This is just the first batch,” Oliver said as he opened one box, revealing thousands of 3×4” medium-stock white cards bearing the seals of the CDC and DHS and the title “COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card.”  The spaces for name, date of birth, vaccine manufacturer, lot number, and date were blank.

“Wait a minute, Oliver, what are we gonna do with those?”

“Change America, Earl.  We’re gonna secretly spread ‘em around for people to take and use on their own.  When we go through this batch, I got a friend that’s printin’ us lots more.”

“How’s they gonna change America?”

“They’re vaccine passports for the Republican idiots who refuse to get vaccinated.  Those folks can use ‘em to get into restaurants, bars, schools, churches, work, get onto planes, all kinds of places where they can get and spread COVID.”

“And why do we want ‘em to do that?”

“The idiots’ll get the virus and kill each other off.  Then everybody else can vote like normal people.  The South will rise again, but this time it’ll be blue.”

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